Internet Dating for Seniors
With the divorce
rate as high as it ever has been and baby boomers hitting middle-age being healthier
and more youthful than ever before, many of us “over-50"s”
are trying to get into the social scene,either seeking a 1:1 relationship or
simply some casual intermittent dating partners.
The internet has been touted as the bar-scene of the current century, but to
those who have not had much experience in this venue, the prospect of using
the internet to find a date can be daunting. Fear not, there are a few pointers
which can make it less traumatic.
First, realize that the population you will encounter on the internet are the
same people whose paths you could cross at the singles dances, bars, and even
in the grocery stores and laundromats.
You will simply get to see more faces in a shorter period of time.
Second, don’t
get into internet dating with the goal of finding your one- and- only. You will
be doomed to fail. Not that it couldn’t happen, just that the process
of weeding out all those who don’t qualify can take a very long time.
If instead you approach this experience as - at worst - an amusing way of killing
some time and -at best- a pleasant way to spend a few hours with an enjoyable
companion over coffee or a light meal, then you will likely be less stressed
and more successful.
There are many sites to choose from. Try to find one that will give you a free
trial. Once you’ve turned in your credit-card number, its hard to get
them to cancel a subscription. In fact, read the fine print on how to terminate
a membership before you turn any money over - some sites make this an extremely
difficult task. And your first few days on a site are deceptive - newbies always
attract a lot of attention for the first few weeks. After that, however, things
can slow down drastically.
Have a photo ready to down-load. And don’t accept someone else’s
excuse that they don’t have one. In this day and age, no photo means there’s
something to hide. In fact, even with a photo, what you see may not be what
you get. You need to ask- “Is that a picture of you?” And “when
was that photo taken.?” Sounds cold? Well women are notorious for putting
up pictures that are 20 years old or are of their daughter/niece. And men will
readily admit that the picture is 5 years old but insist “I haven’t
changed that much.”
Unfortunately, it is necessary to approach everyone on these sites with a bit
of scepticism. Time will tell whether the person is worthy of more trust. Lots
of marrieds are posing as singles. Many who say they are interested in sincere
long-term relationships are really just looking for casual-sex partners while
others are so insecure they won’t trade phone numbers for months. Personally,
I find that typing on the internet is too artificial to lead to a genuine relationship.
You need to at least hear the other person’s voice to sense how easily
the conversation will flow between you and to tell whether the other has the
sense of humor and/or serious nature which you are seeking. Some people write
beautiful poetry and descriptions on their sites. But you don’t know whether
they have been plagarized or took a month to compose.
Pay attention to your instincts. If someone sounds too good to be true - he/she
is NOT for real.
We ALL have baggage. It doesn’t have to be the ex-spouse stalking in the
bushes outside your house. It can simply be that you must always sleep with
the window open regardless of the weather outside. And anyone who cannot admit
to having any faults (or baggage) at our age simply doesn’t look at themselves
honestly. Remember, regardless of how dysfunctional a marriage may have been
or how one-sided the divorce may seem, BOTH partners contributed to it. At the
very least, each owns the responsibility for having chosen the other!
Finally, phone
numbers - someone who can only be reached via a cell phone which is not answered
after 6PM and hardly ever on the weekends is not living alone.
Surf the sites
with an eye for the humorous (aka ridiculous) and a light heart and you will
at least find some amusement here. And once in a while a nice match can be made.
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