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Stop going to church and you can still go to heaven HammerBammer 03-25-2007
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Posted by HammerBammer on March 25, 2007, 12:22 pm


According to most religions, if you dont go to church you'll never go
to heaven. But the truth is this: You dont have to go to church. The
reason is that these days all churches have electricity, and the wires
that supply the churches are the same wires that supply our homes.
Rather than going to church, just grab one of those live wires in your
home and you'll be connected to every church in your whole region.
What better way to attend church than to attend ALL churches that are
connected to those wires. Not only will you be guaranteed an eternity
in heaven, but you'll go to heaven almost immediately.


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Posted by mm on March 25, 2007, 1:27 pm


wrote:

>According to most religions, if you dont go to church you'll never go
>to heaven. But the truth is this: You dont have to go to church. The
>reason is that these days all churches have electricity, and the wires
>that supply the churches are the same wires that supply our homes.
>Rather than going to church, just grab one of those live wires in your
>home and you'll be connected to every church in your whole region.
>What better way to attend church than to attend ALL churches that are
>connected to those wires. Not only will you be guaranteed an eternity
>in heaven, but you'll go to heaven almost immediately.

But aren't these wires connected to the pool halls and strip clubs
too?

I know there are a lot of people in Home Depot on Sunday morning, and
at hamfests.



Posted by Harry on March 25, 2007, 6:44 pm



>> wrote:
>>
>> >According to most religions, if you dont go to church you'll never go
>> >to heaven. But the truth is this: You dont have to go to church. The
>> >reason is that these days all churches have electricity, and the wires
>> >that supply the churches are the same wires that supply our homes.
>> >Rather than going to church, just grab one of those live wires in your
>> >home and you'll be connected to every church in your whole region.
>> >What better way to attend church than to attend ALL churches that are
>> >connected to those wires. Not only will you be guaranteed an eternity
>> >in heaven, but you'll go to heaven almost immediately.
>>
>> But aren't these wires connected to the pool halls and strip clubs
>> too?
>>
>> I know there are a lot of people in Home Depot on Sunday morning, and
>> at hamfests.
>
>With My luck I'd cause a brownout and live.The cause would be traced
>to Me and unending lawsuits to boot making it tough to afford the
>money and time for beer,,just does'nt sound like Heaven at all..

You grab a 240V line, put the red wire in your asshole, black in your
mouth, and wrap the white around your genitals. This gives faster and
more reliable heaven entry.

After all, heaven IS reserved for the stupid :-)

Posted by Harry on March 26, 2007, 11:43 am


wrote:

>
>> The American Catholic Church has been steadily pulling away from
>> Rome over the last decades.         t has been opening to a wider role
>> for women, for one thing.
nd of course, American Catholics
>> practice birth control in overwhelming numbers.
>>
>> Perhaps this pedophile scandal will facilitate the process of
>> separation.
>
>I HOPE it does, the vatican will miss the $$$$ :):):)
>
>In 1985 I had a near death experience, nearly bled to death. I am
>convinced I got a peek at heaven:) nice place.

That's just the "screen saver". The real place is a torture chamber
:-)

> this experience has
>made it easier when people die.
>
>I am very lucky to be alive, it was a very close thing.......
>

Posted by Colbyt on March 25, 2007, 6:34 pm



> According to most religions, if you dont go to church you'll never go
> to heaven.

No man. I am going to become a Muslim, blow things up and have many virgins
in Heaven



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